…A time to be Silent…
…a time to be silent, and a time to speak… (Ecclesiastes 3:7-8)
It was supposed to be a normal medical exam.
Six months earlier, Laura felt a small lump. Based on the mammogram, the radiologist said it was “probably benign” and recommended a follow-up exam. Before the subsequent mammogram, Laura mentioned the lump was more noticeable. Nonetheless, we expected it to be a normal appointment. But, nothing about what transpired next would be normal.
Laura was going to pop in and out before going to her office downtown. We were both busy with work, family, and ministry. It should have been a short visit. But, the mammogram was followed by an unexpected ultrasound. Afterwards, she was asked to wait in a different room; one she dubbed as “the bad news waiting room.”
What followed seems like a flurry of moments. The look on the nurse’s face during the first biopsy told me what the results would be. The pathology results later indicated Laura had cancer.
The flurry of moments continued. “First available appointment” was requested over and over. Watching it all unfold was an out-of-body experience. We took notes, researched, asked questions, and shared with close friends and family. But, nothing about what was happening seemed real.
It was my sweet wife who was going into surgery to get a port, who was starting chemo, and who was losing her hair. Many emotions and thoughts pass through your mind in these moments. Everything had seemingly changed after that “normal” medical exam.
As a pastor, I spend the majority of my time talking, teaching, preaching, counseling, etc. People usually look to me to speak. And I usually oblige. Yet, during this season, God has impressed on my heart the importance of silence.
In no way, does the season we are passing through compare to what Job went through in Scripture. But, I have wrestled with God’s teaching through the narrative of Job’s life. At the end of chapter 2, Job sits submitted to God’s will in his life.
Job 2:10 - “Should we accept only good from God and not adversity?” Throughout all this Job did not sin in what he said.
The chapter ends with three friends joining him to sympathize and comfort him. They wept with him and remained silent because of his suffering. But then, at the beginning of chapter 3, Job speaks…and speaks…and his friends speak…and a young observer speaks…for 35 chapters everyone speaks…except God.
Finally, in chapter 38, God speaks. But, He doesn’t begin as we might expect by my comforting the man He chose to test. Instead, He says, “Who is this who obscures my counsel with ignorant words?” Then, God proceeds to describe Himself to Job and his friends. He was and is the almighty God.
In Job 40:4-5, Job responds, “I am so insignificant. How can I answer you? I place my hand over my mouth. I have spoken once and I will not reply; twice, but now I can add nothing.”
God continues to describe Himself and His nature for two more chapters until Job speaks again at the beginning of the final chapter of the book.
“I know that you can do anything and no plan of yours can be thwarted. You asked, “Who is this who conceals my counsel with ignorance?” Surely I spoke about things I did not understand things too wondrous for me to know…I had heard reports about you, but now my eyes have seen you. Therefore, I reject my words and am sorry for them; I am dust and ashes.”
I wonder…What if Job had shared his heart with the Lord but remained silent before others? The narrative of his life would have been much shorter. We probably wouldn’t have God’s amazing testimony about Himself. But, I wonder if Job’s silent submission to the Lord and his acceptance of the Lord’s will would not have taught his friends more about faithfulness than his abundance of words ever could have. I wonder what the Lord would have said in response to Job’s silence.
It’s interesting to me that God never gives an explanation for Job’s testing, and Job never asks. Understanding God’s decision making doesn’t seem to be the point of the narrative.
In the days following that “normal medical exam,” I’ve had two personal prayers:
The strength and willingness to serve my wife and family in such a way that they are drawn to Jesus
The willingness to be silent and listen for what the Lord may have to say during these days.
For those who know us, please pray for Laura. She is a testimony of strength and faithfulness. Pray for our kids. Part of their stories will now include this season. May this season draw them closer to Jesus. Lastly, pray I would honor the Lord with silence that speaks of my love for Him and willingness to follow Him through any season.
The day will probably come when I share more about what I’ve learned and heard from the Lord these days, but for now, I’m satisfied there’s still more to be learned in silent submission to Him.
